Full Moon?!?!

Tonight has....sucked, for lack of a more eloquent description. Everyone has gone crazy.

Deb had a counseling appointment and came home ready for a fight. I managed to get through the evening without letting it become a full-blown rage, but bedtime brought it to a head. Hours of screaming, kicking, hitting, cursing, biting, and scratching followed. At the same time, Cori was already having some sort of breakdown. Her thinking and perception of things are not clear at all. What everyone else sees one way, she perceives a totally different way and, not surprisingly, in her perception we are all against her. I can't predict/avoid/alter her way of seeing things. She keeps saying I treat her differently from the other girls. When I ask how, she says she doesn't know. All she knows is I treat her differently. When I ask when it happened last, she says, "Today." I say, okay, tell me how I treated you differently today. Again, she can't say. I can't arrange my life to cover any delusional thoughts she might or might not have.

In the midst of all that, Alli goes off saying she is leaving all of us - including her son, Elvis, who had a seizure today and is always horribly cranky after those. Umm, no you're not. She does seem to have settled down now. There was a period of an hour or so tonight that I wanted to leave them all.

I finally called the caseworker for both girls (lucky woman, she is in charge of them both) on her cell. She talked to both and decided Cori isn't dangerous to herself or others. We have a meeting scheduled for Friday to discuss her needs and whether or not placement at my house is appropriate for her. (at this point, I'd have to say no) Deb, however, will be sleeping in someone else's house tomorrow night. I told them I would drop her off at school tomorrow but would not be picking her up. In 10 years (35 kids) I've NEVER come close to something like this. This child is dangerous -both by her physical aggression and her false accusations. I'm not willing to assume the risks involved with her any more. She is out of control and needs some help. They are planning to place her in a therapeutic home. She needs it.

So, I guess a new day is dawning in my life. I've not been happy for a couple of months now. Perhaps 10 years of fostering is my limit? My heart is sad but my head feels like this is the right decision.