2.5 more days

Of work, that it, before Christmas break. I hope I make it. I feel oddly unprepared for the upcoming holidays. The kids are getting just a couple of big gifts this year (big in price, small in size). It feels like I haven't bought them enough when, in reality, I've bought them plenty. I still have the small, junky stocking stuff to pick up but it's so hard to get to a store alone. Most of my shopping has been done online and shipped to friend's house.

Alli paid her rent today! (For the first time since June, I think.) Of course, she only paid it because I said, "Give me the money." She paid rent and her texting fee. It doesn't come close to supporting her but it helps. It felt awkward demanding money from her but in the long run, hopefully, it will teach her a little responsibility. She's really been pleasant and fairly helpful around here lately. She's still not letting us meet the father of the baby. We even invited him to go out to dinner with us tomorrow night. He said yes but Alli said no. I wonder if she's hiding him from us or us from him? Time will tell, I guess. Her ultrasound is scheduled for early next month. He's planning to go and so am I. I guess I'll meet him that day if not before.

Beth continues to be a blessing. She is funny and keeps us all entertained. She has such a caring heart. (Hopefully she'll be the one to choose my nursing home. I think the others will toss me where ever is cheapest.) She has actually asked for help with schoolwork recently. (My kids are always shocked that I actually like to help with assignments. Heck, I'll even do some of them!) I now know more than I ever hoped to know about Thomas Jefferson. I've even helped prepare a PowerPoint about his career. However, Beth is sick this weekend - congested, sore throat, and coughing. She's never sick so this is an even harder blow for her. She needs to get better soon as finals are coming up this week.

Things are coming to a head with Cori. We had a meeting with DCS last week. As of the end of this week, she will have been with me six months. That is the magic number for DCS to be able to finalize the adoption. Surprisingly, at the meeting, Cori said she would agree to being adopted by me. (In our state, kids 14 and older have to give written consent and swear before the judge that they want to adopted.) The whole team agreed with me adopting her...that is everyone on the team except me. I'm just not sure this is what is best for her, me, or my other kids. I feel like she is dangerous or is going to be. Her cutting scares me. She's not compliant with her meds. There are truly times I make eye contact with her and a shiver runs down my spine. She is dark and brooding, and just way off from my idea of normal (and my idea of normal is pretty scary to start with). She's failing half her classes but tests out advanced on the end of course testing. She spends so much time trying to do the exact opposite of what is expected of her. I just don't know what is going to happen with this kid. I'm sure some of her issues are from being bounced through the foster system. Others are probably biologically based, as her bio mom and grandmom have many similar symptoms. I understand why she has issues. I just don't know how to parent her with those issues.