Life stinks but still goes on

Alli announced Wednesday night that she needed to go to the ER. She'd felt something "drop." Of course, at 20 weeks, this is NOT good. Sure enough, the ER sent her straight to OB where they discovered she was dilated 3 to 4 cm and her bag of water was bulging through the opening in her cervix.

The only option at this point is to stand her almost on her head and give her meds that might help to shrink the membrane, letting it go back through the cervix. If it goes back through, they will transfer her to a hospital an hour away and they will put a stitch in her cervix to try and hold the baby in. There is only a 20% chance that this will work. The doctor admitted that with babies this early, he's only seen it work a couple of times in his years as a doctor. In the meantime, if her water breaks, we have a baby. Babies born at this gestational age have a 0% chance of surviving. They even went ahead and explained what would happen if the baby is born now. They would deliver her, cut the cord, and hand her to Alli. No attempts to help the baby will be made. She may breathe a time or two and her heart will probably still be beating for a few minutes but we'll just hold her and watch her die.

So, all those inclined, please say a prayer for Alli and Baby Blair. I just can't believe we've been through all this, only to lose her now. I'll update when I can. It's noon on Friday and I've been awake since 5:00 Wednesday morning. I've been in the hospital with her the whole time. My mom just came to stay with her and kicked me out, telling me not to come back until I've slept a couple of hours. My kids are spread out all over the county. I admit I don't even know where some of them will be sleeping tonight. Without sleep, I can't even process what I've got to deal with.

For those of you wondering, Boy Wonder is around during this. He and I have both slept there with her both nights. He goes somewhere during the days but comes and goes a few times and calls between visits. And, I have to admit, he's not actually the Spawn of Satan as I had previously believed. He's more like a 14 year old than a 23 year old but we are slowly making peace with each other. Heck, Alli's bio mom has even come to visit (twice so far, thankyouverymuch), and she hugged me before she left each time. Maybe we'll all learn a few things from this....or maybe Hell really has frozen over.