So far, so good

Things are not perfect around here but Alli is making a huge effort! Go, Alli!!!!!! She stayed home last night and hung out with us in the den, watching trashy movies on Lifetime and she even initiated a long overdue clean up project. She only texted Boy Wonder twice and answered his call once during the whole evening. And, she didn't grab her phone as soon as it rang. She finished what she was doing and then checked it and responded. I managed to catch her alone before bed and thank her for helping and telling her I enjoyed the evening. She said she did, too. She has stayed home today. We've had a good day. She is still talking to him and texting but it is not constant and she is finishing what she's involved in before she jumps to respond. I still expect her to move out soon, but maybe, just maybe we can be on a little better terms when it happens.

I'm still shocked at my reaction to the prospect of her moving. Did I expect her to live with me forever? No. I've had dozens of kids leave over the years. Some made me happy by leaving, but for most, I've had varying degrees of sadness. I've even taken a day or two off to cry when a child I've had for several years has left for whatever reason. (Over the years, I have discovered that I have to grieve for these kids because it is a loss. Even when they were leaving because of a choice I made - either they needed more intensive intervention or they were cleared to be placed in an adoptive home and I knew that I was not the adoptive home they needed - I need some time to heal.)

This time is different, though. I don't know why. I think a large part of it is that she and Boy Wonder have almost no chance of even being together when this baby is born this summer. I think I would feel a little better if she were saying, "I love him and we will be together forever." Instead, it's like she feels obligated to be with him because he knocked her up. Listening to her apologize to him because she's pregnant with a girl was the last straw. How dare he make her feel bad for not having his boy. HE determines that, not her. She had nothing to apologize for. I'm also sad they totally overlooked that the doctor said the baby looked great and perfectly healthy. I was soooo excited at that part. I don't know that they even processed that. (I know BW didn't even hear it as he'd already fled the office.) Or maybe I really did think she'd be here forever?