Reality bites

Cori's friend that suddenly cancelled on her birthday was rescheduled to come tonight and spend the night. She called last night and said she couldn't come. Cori asked her why. She made up several different excuses before finally admitting the truth. "My mom thinks you are a bad influence on me."

I've tried telling Cori that in her quest to be different...edgy...hardcore...not mainstream, she's going to put some people off. Not by the person that she is but because of the way she appears to society. Cori looks for ways to separate herself from the norms of society. If it's new or out there or shocking, Cori embraces it as her own. She spends her life trying to look like she doesn't care what others think. Part of it is her attachment issues (and goodness knows, she comes by those honestly). She feels the need to reject others before they can reject her. This attitude, usually reserved for parental figures in her life, is carrying over to her friends. She is hard to deal with. She thinks she's wonderful...perfect...and always right. She refuses to listen to what others think. Her thinking is just so skewed that most people can't figure her out.

I have to admit, I probably agree with the friend's mom. I know a lot more about the situation than she does, but I don't think I'd let my daughter spend the night with Cori. To my knowledge, this mom has seen Cori twice for a total of 5 minutes. Evidently, what she saw in those 5 minutes, combined with what her daughter has told her about Cori and what she does, was enough for her to decide to limit her child's exposure to Cori. I can't fault the mom. She's doing what she believes is best for her child and that's her job.

In the meantime, I'm left with a 16 year old who truly doesn't understand what I'm talking about or why this child's mother won't let her come. We've talked and talked and talked but, due to her emotional immaturity, she just doesn't get and may never get it. I can't begin to imagine what she will be like on her own as an adult. Especially when you consider that her adulthood begins in two short years.