Saturday's Adventure

There were several things in our community yesterday that sounded like fun. There was a "Touch a Truck" event at a church that involved all the various types of trucks being opened up for visitors to go through and explore. They were going to have all the emergency vehicles as well as more everyday ones like ice cream trucks and repair trucks. It looked to be something Elvis would enjoy. Another fun thing was a greyhound meet and greet at a local pet store. Since my greyhound died, I've had no desire to see others. However, this one sounded like fun and I think Elvis would have enjoyed the dogs because they would be at his eye-level when he was seated in his wheelchair. The third possibility was a walking tour of a local, very old cemetery. The events were all about the same time and there was about a 30 minute drive between each of the three. I obviously couldn't do all so I chose the cemetery tour. I'd been on one in the same cemetery years and years ago and loved it. But, alas, I made a bad choice.

To begin my explanation, here's the article from our local paper that described the event:

"Walking tour of (Xxxx Xxxx) Cemetery slated Saturday

The Xxxx Xxxx Cemetery Association's board of trustees has planned an event at Xxxx Xxxx in conjunction with the (our) County bicentennial celebration. A walking tour highlighting the final resting places of notable people in (Our) County history will be held from 1-4 p.m. Saturday. The event is free and open to the public. Donations for the maintenance, groundskeeping and improvement of the cemetery will be accepted. Young ladies dressed in period costumes will be stationed at each stop of the tour to share interesting information about the deceased. Women in black mourning attire will talk about mourning customs of the time. Local re-enactors in military costume will be set up in the section of the cemetery where the Confederate monument is located. An honor guard will be stationed at the graves of war heroes. Music from the 1800s will drift through the air, along with the fall leaves.

"Please join us for a date with history and a walk through time. This is the perfect time to enjoy the fall and learn some (Our) County history," said Big Fat Liar, Xxxx Xxxx Cemetery trustee."

After attending the event, all I have to say is, "Liar, Liar, Pants on fire!!"

My friend, two of her sons (ages 10 and almost 9, big fans of all things military), Elvis and I arrived right at 1:00. We signed in, got our map, and waited to be told to start. Watching the trustees scurry around, it became all too obvious that they were not ready for this tour. They literally asked people who were there to take the tour if they would volunteer to play the part of some of the deceased whose graves were on the tour. So much for the "young ladies in period costume" who were to be stationed at each grave. A local school board member and his wife were drafted into service. I can't be totally sure but I'm willing to bet that our local Civil War hero didn't actually wear jeans and a Polo shirt. The grave of the first undertaker in our county (how's that for important historical fact?) was manned by an older gentleman in a tropical (think Jimmy Buffet) shirt. Three of the graves were being manned by one girl in period costume. She was trotting back and forth between the three graves and was usually out of breath as she attempted to describe the historical importance of the people buried there. Sadly, her reading skills weren't the best. Besides mispronouncing many words in the blurb she was reading, she also repeatedly mispronounced one of the NAMES!

The "local re-enactors in military costumes" did, in fact, exist. Of course, it was just two of them. To their credit, they knew their topic and did the best presentation of the day. There was, however, no "honor guard" stationed at the graves or war heroes. There was one odd man who sat in his very modern car right in the middle of the cemetery and every 30 minutes would step, play "Taps" on his trumpet, and then hop right back in his car. Perhaps in the minds of the organizers, that was their "honor guard" and "the delightful music of the 1800s" because no other music was heard drifting through the air "with the fall leaves."

And (not that is was their fault) but the temperature was 86 degrees yesterday - way too hot to pushing Elvis and his wheelchair through a cemetery with broken sidewalks and huge curbs.

I was sooo disappointed in this tour. The last time I went, it was done perfectly. The community band was set up and kept period music drifting along. A guide took groups of the tours. As you approached a grave on the tour, people in period costumes stepped from the shadows or from behind the marker and (in the role of the deceased) told you a little about the life and death of the resident of the grave. It wasn't spooky or scary - just historical and informative. I can only assume that the organizers of yesterday's disaster had hoped to recreate that tour. Sadly, they failed....miserably!

I wish I'd done the greyhound meet and greet and taken Elvis to touch a few trucks.