That darn cat

It's not quite 7:30 AM on my day off and I'm awake. I didn't want to be awake. However, Beth's cat had other ideas. Beth spent the night with a friend, making her cat lonely. To lessen her loneliness, the cat joined me for the night. This means the following people/creatures were in my room for the night: Me, Elvis, my elderly flatulent dog, and Beth's annoying playful kitten. I realize that's only 4 beings but it was at least one, if not two, too many.

Elvis, the dog, and I peacefully live together most nights with no real problems (well, other than the dog's gas issues, but a strategically placed can of Clean Linen air freshener helps with that). We all know how to live together and leave the others alone. Kitty hasn't gotten that message yet. Several times during the night I awoke feeling like I had trouble breathing. Gee, I don't know why I couldn't breathe...Maybe because there was a cat ON MY FACE?? I pushed her off each time and did it a little more roughly each time. She didn't seem to get the message that I didn't like breathing through cat fur because she kept coming back. Honestly, the last time she was on top of me, I think I threw her (literally) out into the hall. That last, desperate act seemed to have given her the message that she could not sleep on my head.

I finally snuggled back in to sleep (I thought) for a looong time. That dream ended when the cat started trying to look out my window. The window covered with a shade. The window with a really narrow ledge that she can't perch on for long without falling (loudly) to the floor - bouncing off the corner of Elvis' toddler bed on the way. After hearing her scratch at the shade and then lose her balance and fall several times, I realized I was up for the day. The only thing that could make that worse was if Elvis was up for the day before 7:00. I got her down a few times but she kept trying to get back in the window. I looked for things to throw at her. Something that would sting or at least startle her, hoping she'd avoid the window to avoid being startled. I tried socks, a glove, and a lollipop Elvis brought home from his Valentine party. I did manage to hit the cat with all those items. Instead of being scared of them, she seemed to think I was tossing her things to play with. She'd hop down and investigate each item before returning to her quest to look out my window. I finally found something to accomplish my task...a box of Nerds. Turns out a small box of Nerds, carefully aimed at the backside of Beth's cat, thrown with enough force to relieve my stress from dealing with that darn cat through the wee morning hours, will indeed cause the cat to abandon her attempts to perch in my window.

You know what else that small box of Nerds, carefully aimed at the backside of Beth's cat, thrown with enough force to relieve my stress from dealing with that darn cat through the wee morning hours will do? You guessed it. It will wake Elvis. That darn cat!