Ms. Patsy

Many, many years ago (I was in first grade, just to give you an idea of exactly how many years ago this was), a new girl showed up in my classroom at school. Her name was Renae. She lived in my neighborhood (with her mom and grandmother). She also began attending my church. We had so much in common that we became fast friends. We were in the same class almost every year of elementary school. We went to the same junior high and high school. We were in band together. We still attended the same church. We were together a lot for many years.

Somewhere along the way, Renae's parents divorced. I didn't know a lot about that word then but I did understand that her mom was no longer married to her father. He worked away from home and this didn't directly affect my life. Soon, Larry appeared on the scene. He and Mrs. A had been friends in their teens and had reconnected after her divorce. Larry was cool. I could call him by his first name because Renae did. This was unheard of back in the day when your friends' parents didn't have first names. We were always taught to address them as Mr. Last Name and Mrs. Last Name. Larry didn't have a last name as far as I was concerned. His joining the family (bringing with him a young daughter), becoming Renae's stepfather eventually, just added to the fun. Mrs. A became Mrs N. (I still didn't dare call her by her first name!) He was one of the most fun adults I'd ever encountered. Even at my young age, I knew Larry and Mrs. A were destined to be together. They just seemed to complete each other...sounds corny, I know, but it's still true.

We grew up. Renae moved away out of state. I was in college and had other friends. I was home a lot but didn't see much of Renae's family. My mom was still a part of their lives so I kept up with them all through her. I'd occasionally see them in passing at church. Even though I was legally an adult, I just couldn't bring myself to call her by her first name. I did finally drop her last name and call her Ms. Patsy.

Then came one of my favorite holiday traditions... Thanksgiving at Larry and Ms. Patsy's house. They opened their home to anyone who needed a place to go for the holiday. Both sides of their families were invited. My mom and I joined them many years. My brother and his family came a few times. My assorted foster/adoptive kids came. People who worked with Ms. Patsy at a nearby hospital lab were invited to drive down on their lunch breaks to share the meal. It was always a nice mix of people who got along well together. That is just the kind of people the whole family is...They will do anything to help anybody. What a great world we'd live in if more people were like them!

As always happens, times change. Both of their daughters (and their families) moved to FL. Larry and Ms. Patsy retired from their jobs and headed to FL to spend more time with their daughters and grandchildren. They kept their house here and traveled back and forth. My mom was in frequent contact with them and I, again, got my updates on them through her.

About 5 years ago, I heard from my mom that Ms. Patsy had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She had surgery and chemo and radiation. After a long, difficult battle, our prayers were answered and she was declared well again. She looked great. Her hair grew back. In my mind, it was over. I honestly never considered the fact that it could happen again. My mom had cancer three times during my school years and she's been fine for years. I'd heard stories of others getting cancer over and over and eventually losing the battle, but in my personal experience, once you beat it, you were done.

I'm sure by now you have guessed where this is going. Last month, Ms. Patsy went in for a routine scan as part of her cancer follow up. Three spots were detected on one of her lungs. We all tensed up but still had hopes for the best. A PET scan was scheduled for about 3 weeks later to better assess what was up. That scan was on a Thursday and the results were not to be available until Monday. What a long weekend. And the results were not what any of us wanted. The three spots on her lung were confirmed to be malignant. And, in addition to those three spots, the scan identified three more cancerous spots. Those were in her backbone. A brain scan was ordered and thankfully, that was normal. That has been the first piece of good news in Ms. Patsy's new battle.

The prognosis is not good. However, a treatment plan has been established and there are numerous prayer warriors on the case, too. We've got that part covered. Here is what I need from you (well, more prayers are ALWAYS welcomed) but please click on this link and consider donating to Renae's 60-mile walk to help end breast cancer. (Proceeds go to Susan G. Komen For The Cure.) Clicking on Renae's link will give you the chance to donate online. She's determined to do this walk again. She's been very dedicated to raising funds in the fight against breast cancer. ALL donations would be greatly appreciated. Don't worry about an amount - even $5 will help.

Your donation will help Renae. It will help Ms. Patsy. It will help me. It will help my mom. And, more importantly, it might be helping you or your mom or your sister or your grandmother...or even your "Ms. Patsy." All women are at risk for developing this disease. I can't haul my big butt on a 60 mile walk to raise money. I can donate what I can and help find others to donate. I'm doing my part. Will you do yours?

If you donate, please add a comment here. You don't need to post the amount - just the fact that you donated is all we need. If you are unable to donate, feel free to post any comments or thoughts for the family. Even if you will just commit to praying for Ms. Patsy and the family through the tough days ahead, please add that in a comment. Sadly, many women have to fight this battle every day. I sincerely hope no one has to fight it alone.

Updates...I've got your updates

Elvis' surgery went fine. We got there at 2:00 and they took him from us about 3:30 after I'd answered the same 20 questions for about 10 different people. Beth and I sat in the waiting room and watched the Jumbo-tron which scrolled the first name of the patients and where they were in the process - getting ready for surgery, in the operating room, recovering in PACU, and finally - discharged. He was in surgery for longer than we expected but the doctor said everything went well. After a little while in recovery, we were sent home with a very drugged little guy. He needed Lortab every 6 hours the first day and you could still tell he was hurting when moved or jostled. However, he slept really well Wednesday night and I could tell he felt much better Thursday. Motrin seems to be handling the pain although I did give him a dose of Lortab last night before I had to peel the sticky bandages off. It just seemed the compassionate thing to do.

Before:

After:

Baby Briley arrived on July 1 at 1:31 PM. (7 pounds, 13 ounces; 20.5 inches long) She has ten fingers and ten toes and is learning to nurse like a champ. Mom and baby are doing well...tired but good. They were discharged from the hospital last night and have hopefully survived their first night at home. (The day of her birth was a really difficult day for me emotionally. I'll spare the details on the public blog but will probably attempt to sort out my thoughts on my private one. If you haven't joined that one yet, feel free to email me through my profile. All I'll need to add you is your email address. Don't fear rejection...as long as you don't live in my house, I'll add you. ;-)

Elvis' surgery day

Today is the day the urologist goes looking for Elvis' testicles. What fun! When he locates them, he'll pull them down and stitch them in place where they belong. I've never owned that equipment but I'm 100% sure that my day today will be better than Elvis'.

We don't have to be at the hospital (an hour from home) until 2:30 this afternoon. I fear we may be there well into the evening hours. I'd much rather have gone in the wee morning hours and be done by now. We didn't get a choice. He did get to eat breakfast this morning. He could eat before 8:00 and then can have only clear liquids between 8 and 1. He can't have anything after 1.

Alli is not going with us. She's pretty miserable with the pregnancy so she's staying home. Beth is going with me. I was afraid to try this adventure without another set of hands along for the ride. Elvis loves his Aunt Beth and she's great with him. We'll be fine. And, Elvis will be cranky afterward but he will have earned that right.

Still no baby

I went with Alli to her appointment on Friday and she was still only dilated to "a loose two but we can call it almost a three if it makes you feel better." However, the baby is measuring BIG - 88 percentile and he wants to get her out soon. So, unless she goes into labor before, she will be induced on Wednesday...Boy Wonder's birthday. Can you tell I'm just thrilled about that last part?

Elvis has surgery scheduled for Tuesday so it looks to be a busy week around here. I'll keep you posted.

Baby Watch, 2009

Alli had her cerclage removed (fairly painfully, evidently) yesterday. That means the baby could join them at any time. All of her restrictions are removed and she can carry Elvis again. After 5 months of toting that guy around, I think this part makes me happiest of all. ;-)

So now we wait...and wait. She's not technically due until July 13 so the baby may come soon. Or we may still have a month.

Thinking ahead...Father's Day

My own father has been dead for about 9 years. I'm single so my kids don't have a father here. Their own bio father is...interesting, to put it nicely. Elvis' bio father surrendered parental rights several years ago. Father's Day just isn't an issue in my house. There's really no mention of it since it doesn't apply to anyone.

In the spirit of the season though, I'd like to "introduce" you to someone - Dick Hoyt. If you've already seen/read about/heard about "Team Hoyt" take the time to meet them again. Their story is a blessing. It kind of restores my faith in fathers.

Team Hoyt website

June Birthday-mania

Lots of family members have June birthdays. Alli's is June 2. Beth's is the 10th. My brother's is also the 10th. My aunt's is the 12th. Add to that the birthday of a close friend's son on June 1, and we have a looot of June birthdays.

I combined Alli's and Beth's birthdays and took them out to lunch right between their actual birthdays. We also went to a local park Wednesday and celebrated Alli, Beth, and friend's son's birthdays all together. The candles on the cupcakes were the numbers 52 - their ages added together.

I took my brother and aunt out to eat last night to celebrate theirs. It was a nice evening. I can't remember the last time just the three of us did anything together. It was a different vibe without spouses or kids but it was a nice change.

Today, we are getting up and heading to my mom's hometown for...another birthday celebration - LOL! However, we will be celebrating everyone's birthday there today. Her family lives about 2 hours away and we don't get together as often as we should. So, we pick a Saturday every summer and celebrate all at once. Everyone brings a funny birthday card. We sign them and drop them in a box. Everyone draws one out and reads it to the group. Surprisingly, both my girls (and SpiderPig) are going along today. (Just Elvis and I went with my mom last year.) I'm not quite sure why the change of plans but I'm glad they are going. They really like one of my aunts there and she may be the draw. Doesn't matter. It looks to be a good day!

Up to no good

Remember Beth's former BFF's brother? Take a moment to refresh your memories from last summer here and here.

Bff came by to visit me last Monday. We had a nice visit. She even brought me flowers and her new boyfriend for me to meet. I asked about her brother and she said he was still making horrible choices. The very day of that visit, this occurred:

"Xxxxx Co. Sheriff's Dept.

Monday, June 1

Xxxx Xxx Xxxxxxx, 19, (address deleted), was arrested and charged with theft, two counts of sale of marijuana, possession of marijuana for resale, attempted sale of a schedule I counterfeit narcotic, burglary, tampering with evidence, underage consumption of alcohol, possession of schedule IV narcotic and possession of drug paraphernalia. He remained jailed Tuesday in lieu of $73,500 bond."

Bless his heart. From 8th in his huge high school class to all those charges. He's not just using drugs now, he's also selling them. Everyone hoped he had learned from his problems last summer. Obviously, not. He seems determined to self-destruct. What can you do?

Hi, Fielding! Hi, Blair!

*waves toward Heaven* It's June again and I'm thinking of you both. In some ways, last June seems like just last month. In other ways, it feels like 10 years ago.

Breaking up

Elvis' speech therapist is breaking up with him. She's worked with him since before he was a year old. It feels like she's always been there. We've followed her to 3 different clinics, driving further to see her each time, just to continue the great working relationship with her. Now, she's quitting at the current clinic and won't be taking his insurance in her private practice. I feel like I've been dumped, too. You search and search for people who will love your kids and really make them work. This almost feels like a death in the family. We've got to find a new therapist and then spend the time to build a relationship with the him/her before expecting Elvis to make any progress.

On the upside, we've been driving a long way to these therapy sessions - over 100 miles round trip each week. Hopefully we can find a super speech therapist (who takes his stinky insurance) who also happens to be in an office with a great OT and PT and who all happen to be much closer to our home. That's not asking too much, is it? **insert hysterical laughter from parents of other kids with special needs here**

In other news, we've been busy here. Alli went with us to Elvis' speech appointment yesterday and we stopped at Walmart on the way home. I'd been invited to a baby shower and needed to buy a gift. We were gone a long time but had a good afternoon. This morning Elvis and I went with Alli to her OB appointment. We got to watch her ultrasound. Alli is 34 weeks pregnant and the baby is measuring 35 weeks and the doctor said she looks good. They will take out her cerclage two weeks from today and we'll wait for nature to take its course. Now, we're off to the baby shower. It's for a girl who was a student at a day care I worked at in college. (Yes, I'm that old.) It's at the park and the family is....different. So there promises to be many funny moments from today's shower.