I'm me. I'm single, live in the south, and am headed for my 40th birthday really soon. I teach elementary school for a living. For a life, I foster children. I've been a foster parent for almost 10 years. My best count is that 35 children have been offically placed in my home. Others have come to stay for a short time in respite care. Sometimes I wonder if I can name them all. I'm not in the mood to try. I can proudly say I've done the best I could with each child. I've learned something from each of them. I hope they can say the same about me. Most have been teenage girls. Some have stayed a few days. Others have stayed many years. Within the last year, I've made another jump and adopted a teen girl. Her older sister lives here, too, but she had aged out of foster care. We did legally change the older sister's last name (and the name of her 4 year old son) to my last name so we consider them adopted, too.
Life in my house is never dull. Kids who have experienced difficult childhoods don't live life like the rest of us. Their perceptions of everyday life are skewed by their chaotic early lives. Things that are commonplace to me (manners, courtesy, kindness, and caring, just to name a few) are foreign concepts to some of these kids.
Currently living in my house are:
Me (see description above)
*Alli - age 20 - She came here at 15 as an emergency foster placement. A DCS worker brought her to my door (in 5 degree weather) with only the clothes on her back - not even a coat! She had a 2 month old son (born at 26 weeks gestation) in the NICU in a hospital about an hour away. Now, five years later, she's mine. It hasn't been a smooth ride and I expect things to get worse before she finally moves out on her own, but she's still mine.
*Beth - age 17 - Biological sister of Alli. She came to me about a month before her 14th birthday. I legally adopted her last fall. For the most part, she's been a joy to parent. Other than a really rough patch of about 3 months right around her adoption, she has been perfect. She's funny, compassionate, and kind. I fear she uses the humor to mask her true feelings most of the time but we are working on that.
*Cori - age 15 - She is placed here as a foster-to-adopt placement. This is actually the 3rd time she's been placed here. She first came at 9 and stayed almost 3 years before being placed in an adoptive home. That placement disrupted (parents "returned" her) after 9 months and she came back to me. She was with me almost 9 more months before a judge ordered her to be placed in a home with no other children. She was away for about 15 months (and bounced through 4 other placements) before the judge decided she could come back to me. Let me assure you that a lot of damage was done during those 15 months! She came back angry and hardened. I'm not sure the placement will work out but I'm trying!
*Deb - age 9 - She is strictly a foster placement. She came almost 9 months ago and I was assured she was just a one-night placement. Yeah, right. She's a handful. 8 years of living with a psycho bio mom have taken a toll on her. She is developmentally delayed. That I can deal with. My problem lies in the fact that, apparently with the flip of someunseen switch, she changes from the cute little slow kid into a raving, raging lunatic. She can literally scream and throw things and bite and curse for hours. (Her record is 8 straight hours!) DCS is looking for a more permanent home for her - hopefully one that will adopt her when her bio parent's rights are terminated. I hope they look fast and find her one soon. She's about to push me over the edge.
*Elvis - age 4 - Biological son of Alli. He's almost 5 and weighs a whopping 28 pounds. He has multiple medical issues resulting from his premature birth. (When you start life weighing less than two pounds, things don't usually turn out well for you.) He is unable to walk, talk, or even sit alone. He has CP, seizures, and asthma. He's also the cutest, most-loved little guy I know. He runs the house. We all revolve around him and his wishes. Not a bad job, if you can get it - LOL!
*Obviously not their real names. I started with the oldest and went down the alphabet making up names. I changed their names to protect the innocent...or are they all guilty??? They are definitely guilty of causing my hair to turn grey and my blood pressure to spike on occasion.
Well, there it is - my first blog post. Tune in tomorrow to see where it's all going.
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