Working my nerves

It seems one (or more) of my kids is always working my nerves. Thankfully, for the most part, they do it one at a time. Today, Beth is the one making me nuts. It's not usually her but when she does it, she does it BIG.

She asked to spend the night with friend H last night. I called H's family and confirmed curfews and supervision. I dropped her off at school yesterday and she went home with H with the understanding that she was to be home before dark tonight.

She texted me about 4:30 this afternoon and announced she was leaving a local restaurant with the idiot friend who disappeared last weekend. I had not given her permission to be with anyone other than H. She had not called to tell me she was going with Idiot. She texted me, not to say she was on her way home but asking to spend the night with Idiot. Hell, no! She then wanted to go to the hotel with Idiot and her father's family who is visiting from out of town. I told her no. She then asked if she could just go for a little while. No. Come home. It's been plenty of time for her to get here. I was expecting her any minute and she just called again and said, "You mean I can't even go out to eat with them and to swim at the hotel?" I said that yes, that was exactly what I meant. I don't know how I could have been any clearer than, "No."

As much as this aggravates me, it isn't Beth. It's the friend. She evidently badgers her hard-working Nana and/or her hard-partying mother until they let her do what she wants just to shut her up. That doesn't work here. I think we'll do a written contract that states if she isn't home by the assigned time or if she pushes the limits (asking for more time, being 5 minutes late, etc.) that she will be automatically grounded for a week.

I am holding out some hope that this friendship is fading. Idiot never did tell Beth where she was while she was missing last weekend. She's told her two different places but they were both places that her mother told Beth she'd called and Idiot wasn't there. Obviously, she's lying to Beth. They also had another disagreement in the middle of the week. Idiot had lied to Beth again about where she was and who she was with.

Why, oh why, can't my kids make friends with kids who follow rules, do well in school, and respect their parents? My kids have all (through all my years of fostering) seemed to gravitate towards the trouble makers who are either failing or barely passing. Perhaps it's a self-esteem issue? Maybe those are the kind of kids they were friends with while living with bio family? Maybe it's just to piss me off? I don't know why or what to do about it.