Sunday, October 12, 2008

A little late, but here's the story of my Friday

I got to the restaurant first and went ahead and got our table. It had only been open for about 15 minutes at that point, so I had plenty to choose from. I got one with a view of the front door, hoping I could recognize her. It had been 20 years, for goodness sakes! She arrived about 10 minutes after me and, even with a hair color change, I recognized her. (I have to admit that if I'd randomly run into her in the mall, I probably wouldn't have recognized her.) After a few moments spent in greeting, the catching up began. Almost 3 hours later, I'd say we were about half-way caught up but Autim (her own spelling - it annoyed me, though because it was waaaay to close to "Autism" and not close enough to "Autumn" which is how she pronounced it) the waitress was more than ready to have her table back.

We both brought pictures from the last 20 years but she did a much better job with hers. She had one album and it contained all the important events in her life - school, marriage, her son, and extended family. I have no such all-inclusive record of my family. My story is defined by the different foster kids and what we did while he/she was here. I couldn't decided what to take to show her. I ended up with the middle volume of a long-ago foster kid's scrapbook set. It gave her an overview of my life at that point. I also took along pictures of my forever kids over the time they've been with me. It did make me realize that I need to spend some time this winter documenting the last 10 years from my perspective. All the foster kids who have stayed a while have a scrapbook to take with them. (Except for this odd exception - I never started a scrapbook for my Alli, Beth, or Elvis. I bought the albums but have never put anything in them, either. Perhaps I can do one for me along with theirs? I can just picture the blank pages to represent the almost 3 years of un-backed up digital pics we lost in the great computer crash of 2007.)

We covered almost every topic in our extended lunch - immediate family, extended family, health updates, houses, neighbors, vacations, and plans for the future. It was really great to catch up. I'm soooo glad we did it. I'm just sorry it took so long. It's definitely something I'm glad we did and plan to do it again SOON!

Since I got back, I've been trying to remember how/exactly when we parted so many years ago. I can't remember the last time we saw each other. I'm sure at the time, neither of us realized it would be the last time for 20 years. If we had, I'm sure we would remember it. I have no doubt in was on campus at the university we both attended. I'd go even further and say it was in our dorm building. (We went to the same college but hadn't planned to go together. As a result, we weren't roommates but ended up 2 floors apart in the same dorm. We saw each other a lot the first year but gradually began to drift apart. By the second year, we just saw each other occasionally in passing. I don't remember seeing her after that second year.)

Hindsight being 20/20 and all, if I had it to do over again, I would do it differently. She's done fine without me, obviously, but I would have liked to have been around. It's even more odd to realize that, other than a few years she spent out of state right after college, we've never lived more than an hour's drive away from each other. Not only that, but I've been in her city many, many times. I drive through it when I go to visit my mom's family. When Cori moved back to my house, she came from a foster home in that city. I bet I was there 15 times before Cori finally moved it. And, Cori continued counseling in that city and I was there several times a month. All that time, we were so close and yet so far.

I can't change the past. I can only make plans for it not to happen again. I know where she is. I have her cell number and email address. I will not let her disappear again! She bought lunch this time so I told her that meant we'd have to meet again so I could buy. Before we meet again, I want to go to my mom's and dig through her box of pictures. I know she has many of us from the "good old days." I want to take them and share with her.

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