I met with her case worker, her adoption worker, and the supervisor of the adoption team today and told them, in no uncertain terms, that I was NOT going to adopt her. I can't say they were surprised. I honestly don't think this child is capable of living in a family. The give and take required to live peacefully is just something she doesn't understand. Attachment disorder is a scary thing. However understanding why she pulls this crap doesn't make it any easier to live with her. I'm sad but also relieved. I realize that in her view, I'll be just one more adult who has let her down. I'm sorry, Cori. I do hope that one day you will look back and know I did my best.
In the meantime, she's taken up smoking. Grrrr! That is one habit I just can't tolerate. Not to mention the legalities, as it is illegal to allow a foster child to smoke in this state. They'll probably cite me into court as an act of revenge.
I did tell them that as long as her behavior doesn't escalate, she can continue to live here until they locate a new placement. I don't look for that to last long, though, because as soon as she finds out I'm not adopting, she'll go off - way off! Living with a ticking bomb is uncomfortable, to say the least.
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