Details on the rest of my yesterday

We got to the ultrasound appointment 30 minutes early. I don't know why. That never happens. Oddly, I ran into one of my former foster daughters at the office. She is having her 3rd son. (She really needs NO children but that's another post.) Anyway, my official introduction to Boy Wonder was "Hi." We went in the office and all 3 of us sat in the same row of chairs but left a seat between us. I was at one end of the row, Boy Wonder at the other and Alli sat in the middle of the 5 seats. The tech was running late so we didn't get called back until almost 45 minutes after her appointment time (which, remember, was 30 minutes after we arrived). Conversation was strained, at best.

We got back to the little room and began the ultrasound. The tech told us up front that she would do the pictures and measurements for the doctor first and would then give us the guided tour of Alli's uterus. I was enthralled. I could pick out tiny feet and hands. I could see the baby turn her head. I LOVED it! After about 15 minutes, Boy Wonder said, all right, get to the part I want to see. You'll be happy to know I resisted the urge to knee him in the groin. The tech ignored him and continued. When she finished the required part of the exam she started pointing out all the details. All was well until she declared the baby to be a girl. Alli teared up and looked away. BW just sat down and didn't watch the rest. The tech finished up and BW was out of the exam room and into the waiting room before Alli had even sat up on the table.

We got out there and he asked what was next. Alli told him she had to stay and see the doctor after he'd reviewed the ultrasound. He said, "I'm gone." About 10 minutes later (we were still sitting in the waiting room) Alli's phone rang and it was BW's mother wanting to know what was going on. She said he'd come home, said he didn't want to talk to anyone, and locked himself in his room. Alli continued to text him furiously. I was completely ignored the rest of the day. We stayed and saw the doctor. Alli didn't even answer any questions the doctor asked. She was visibly depressed. Even the nurse commented on how down she seemed. The doctor said everything looked great. We got to hear the heartbeat again and the doctor sent her for blood work to screen for genetic issues. The whole time we waited and waited at the lab, Alli kept texting back and forth to BW. I don't think she even said a word to me. She finally announced that BW was coming to pick her up after she was done. I waited until he got there and off they went without a word to me.

I waited a bit and texted her to ask if she wanted me to take today off, too. She was so distraught, I really worried about her ability to take care of Elvis. Today is also Elvis' therapy day. It's an hour and a half drive each way and Alli hates to go and sit there alone. She replied, "Whatever." I took that as a yes and went ahead and called for a sub. I told her I'd been able to get a sub and would go with her today. She said, "That's fine." She really needs to work on showing gratitude and appreciation.

While she was gone, I made copies of the ultrasound pics and CD to give BW. They just happened to drive up as Beth and I were headed to the grocery, so I sent Beth out to take them to him. Alli saw her coming and started furiously shaking her head no, indicating that he wanted nothing to do with the pics or CD. We aborted that mission and headed on to the store. (We were out of bottled water and that is an emergency in our house.) We came back and Alli spent the rest of the evening texting BW. Again, I don't think she said a complete sentence to me, even in response to anything I asked.

I left to go to school and get my lesson plans out for the sub today. As I drove into the school parking lot, Alli texted me saying she was spotting. I went ahead and finished my plans before heading back home. I picked her up and off we went to the ER with every other person in our small town. She signed in at 8:25. She got to a room at 11:05. The first hour, she was cordial to me. We chatted a bit and made fun of the drama in the waiting room. Then, BW started texting and calling and I was forgotten. I sat there and stared at a blank wall for most of the waiting time. My cousin happened to be working the front desk and she talked to me when she could. At some point, Alli announced that BW was feeling better about having a daughter and he had decided they would name her Blair. He still didn't want the pics or video but he might soon. She then resumed texting him and calling him. Long story short: After a midnight pelvic exam, all was deemed healthy. The doctor thought maybe she had a bit of a yeast infection but he saw no sign of blood or trauma. We left at 12:15 AM.

After we got home, she went straight to bed. I was wide awake. I finally headed to bed about 1:30 with another Gilmore Girls DVD that Netflix had delivered yesterday. It was season 1, disc 6, so I finished the first season about 2:30. I slept until about 3:30 before waking up. I've been up ever since. I showered at 6:00 and dropped Cori and Beth off at their schools.

Alli has just gotten up and showered. We need to leave in an hour for Elvis' appointments. She did announce on the way to the shower that BW was off work today because it's raining. (Nice steady income to support a family on, huh?) Now, I know she will spend the entire drive time and therapy time texting and talking to him. I'll be staring at a wall again. And just typing that makes me start crying again.

I do realize that I am letting her treat me badly. I just don't know how to stop it. I have this bizarre need for approval and for everyone to like me. I don't like to make waves. I guess I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that she's dumping me for him. In normal families, that doesn't usually happen. Kids grow up and move on but still need a mom. Alli still really needs a mom but seems to think she doesn't. I've taken off 4 days of work so far for things related to her pregnancy. I'm financially supporting her and her son. I spent hours last night being ignored in an ER so she wouldn't be alone. I'll drive 3 hours round-trip today on 1 hour sleep and sit 2 hours in a therapy office being ignored again. All trying to make her feel better. I hope she does because I feel like shit.