But, here is more detail of my recent piss-off point with one of my kids. Alli, who just delivered a 21-week baby in January, is pregnant again. The doctor told her to wait 3-6 cycles before getting pregnant again. She waited one. She didn't even tell me she was pregnant - Boy Wonder did. And he was excited about it. I, the voice of doom and gloom (also known as reality), was shocked and saddened by this turn. All I want is Alli to be healthy and get some education. This was certainly not a step in what I consider the right direction.
She went to the doctor last Thursday. The pg test was positive but they couldn't find the embryo on the ultrasound. They drew blood and scheduled her another appointment in a month. They called back later and said her pg hormone was low and she needed to come back in for more blood work. She went back Tuesday and they told her if this test was lower, she was definitely going to miscarry. They called her back yesterday and told her the level had risen. They had her come back in today for another ultrasound. The result? Ectopic pregnancy.
They haven't scheduled the surgery yet but that is the plan. She goes back for more blood work on Tuesday and I guess they will schedule it then. Despair. Shock. Hurt. Even anger. I don't know what to do with these feelings. In the end, there is nothing I can do. She is an adult and can do as she damn well pleases. I just wanted so much more for her. Am I bad person for that? The first 15 years of her life were full of hurt and disappointment. I really thought the last 5 could turn that around. I thought I could just love her enough and help her make the rest of her life a little easier. Evidently not. She seems so angry AT ME, for whatever reason. This is so hard to deal with.
The only good news in my life right now? Today was the last day of school with the kids there. I have administrative days tomorrow and Tuesday. The kids come back Wednesday for report cards. Come on, summer! I need you!
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4 comments:
Wow...i've been reading (and loving) your blog for a few months now and can so relate to you. I was a foster parent for about 6 years and have one adopted daughter now. Moving from young kids to teenage girls is what did us in and made us leave the system....they are so tough, damaged and hard to help. You are doing so well....I really admire you. Keep up the good work and enjoy the summer
She needs to talk to her doctor about Methotrexate. I have had so many ectopic pregnancies I have lost count, I have had both the curgery and the shot and she needs to do the shot. I am sure she qualifies if they are not scheduling her for emergency surgery today. It is literally just a quick shot in the butt and it disolves the pregnancy so the body can absorb it, she will have a heavy period but nothing like a miscarriage. There are no real side effects and since they sometimes have a difficult time saving the tube with surgery and/or it becomes a high risk of another ectopic pregnancy once it is scarred it is a million times better than the surgery option. The OB/GYN doesn't give the shot, I think I had to go to an Oncologist b/c it is a form of chemotherapy. If her doctor doesn't know about it or is unwilling to look at it, seek another opinion immediately. Our doctor told us some are just unfamiliar with it and prefer surgery, $$$ is one of the reasons. The worst thing that can happen is she ruptures, it is painful and she won't misunderstand it, call an ambulance and they will just do the surgery as an emergency situation. Don't wait to call an ambulance if she has a sharp pain, don't wait to see if it passes, just call and meet her up there.
Yeah, it's hard to understand other people's choices. I hope she recovers quickly.
Spay and/or neuter your pet!
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