Due the the constant undercurrent of tension in our home (exact origin unknown, but I'm so tired of it), I instiuted Family Night. Tonight was our first. I post a menu on the fridge every week and for tonight, I wrote Family Night at home - pizza and a really expensive Monopoly game. 5:00 - 7:00, Attendance required."
The kids seemed to look forward to it. They've mentioned it off and on through the week. It was nice. Everyone was here when they were supposed to be. We had yummy Domino's pizza (much cheaper if you pick it up than having it delivered) and real Dr. Pepper (not the diet version we generally drink). Everyone got a nice little sugar-buzz off the stuff. Anyway, a good time was had by all. The game was really fun. We played the new Monolpoly game that has debit cards. Beth won with almost $30 million plus her properties. That was amazing since she paid the least attention. She's rather impulsive and just bought everything. It was an interesting strategy but it worked for her. We did have several conversations about debit vs. credit as we played. The game lasted until almost 8:00 when I had to end it to get Deb bathed and into bed.
All in all, it was a good evening. Alli couldn't stay off her cell (that will be required next time) but she did hold off the two hours. I'm glad we did it. I didn't really have the extra cash (and it will be done with less cash outlay next time) but I think the fun was worth it this time.
Now, it's almost 9:00 and everyone has drifted off. Alli took Beth to get her hair cut at the mall. I gave them permission to go as long as Elvis went along. I got Deb bathed and into bed. (She had an early bedtime tonight due to some recent behaviors.) Cori has started a load of laundry and is in her room (probably cutting but I'm not in the mood to confront her tonight).
When did my life get this complicated? What was my life like before I got so tangled up with troubled kids? What is life like with "normal" kids? Probably too boring for me. Sometimes, I'd like to try boring.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Saturday as a credit card commercial
Breakfast for 5 from the McDonald's drive-thru: $9.68
Gas for 360 miles: $52.00
Lunch at a steak house: $40.00
Bribing Beth to ride along as back up: $15 and a bag of Kiddie Mix candy
Assorted snacks and drinks along the way: $20
Broken (brand new) portable DVD player: $75
Six hours with 5 people in the van: not enough money in the world!
A reunion of 3 sisters in foster care who haven't all seen each other since their mother's funeral three years ago: PRICELESS
I can't offer any explanation for why they haven't visited before. That is just the way the state works. I've taken Cori to see the far away sister once, a couple of years ago. She was living with an adoptive family and seemed to be doing well. I take her to see the local sister at least once a month, usually more. They just hadn't all 3 been together in the same room since their bio mom died.
The day went well. The time in the van was better than I expected. Other than breaking the DVD player and yelling, "We're gonna crash!" every time we passed a truck, Twin A did well. I took lots of snacks and toys to occupy her. Nothing held her attention very long but she did much better than I anticipated. We met Twin B and her foster mom at a steak house. Twin B had no idea why they were there. She saw me and Cori and screamed. It took her a few minutes to recognize that Twin A was even there. Lunch was nice. The conversation was loud but pleasant. After lunch, we followed her foster mom to a local park so the girls could visit some more. We took lots of pictures. Leaving was hard on all of them but we do plan to do this at least once a month now, so that helped a bit. The drive home was harder. The kids were tired and sad at having to leave their sister. Twin A insisted she was going to get car sick but a shake from Sonic made that better. She was smiling when we dropped her off at her residential school, so I'm guessing the day was good for her.
I've been involved with these girls for over five years. Cori was placed with me at 9. Her sisters were 7 at the time and were placed together in a therapeutic foster home due to their needs. We did monthly visits at first but, as time went on, rights were terminated, they were placed in various adoptive homes (none of which worked out), and they just lost touch. I'm generally in favor of placing sibs together but have to agree in this case, that I haven't ever met a parent that could successfully keep them all. They all have significant needs and really all need to be only children.
The kids are now 15 and 13. I worry about their futures. I don't think either of the twins will ever be able to live independently, due to their disabilities. Cori struggles with emotional issues from childhood and, truthfully, from damage done by multiple moves in foster care. There are no easy answers here. I've been involved in the case from the start, known all the players (case workers, therapists, foster parents, prospective adoptive parents, bio mom, bio grandmothers, etc.), and can't identify anyone in the system who really dropped the ball big time. For the most part, they did their jobs and seemed to care. For whatever reason, things just haven't worked out for these girls. It makes me sad. It also makes me all the more determined to make sure they continue to have these visits and have a relationship with each other. They need that. It's the least I can do.
Gas for 360 miles: $52.00
Lunch at a steak house: $40.00
Bribing Beth to ride along as back up: $15 and a bag of Kiddie Mix candy
Assorted snacks and drinks along the way: $20
Broken (brand new) portable DVD player: $75
Six hours with 5 people in the van: not enough money in the world!
A reunion of 3 sisters in foster care who haven't all seen each other since their mother's funeral three years ago: PRICELESS
I can't offer any explanation for why they haven't visited before. That is just the way the state works. I've taken Cori to see the far away sister once, a couple of years ago. She was living with an adoptive family and seemed to be doing well. I take her to see the local sister at least once a month, usually more. They just hadn't all 3 been together in the same room since their bio mom died.
The day went well. The time in the van was better than I expected. Other than breaking the DVD player and yelling, "We're gonna crash!" every time we passed a truck, Twin A did well. I took lots of snacks and toys to occupy her. Nothing held her attention very long but she did much better than I anticipated. We met Twin B and her foster mom at a steak house. Twin B had no idea why they were there. She saw me and Cori and screamed. It took her a few minutes to recognize that Twin A was even there. Lunch was nice. The conversation was loud but pleasant. After lunch, we followed her foster mom to a local park so the girls could visit some more. We took lots of pictures. Leaving was hard on all of them but we do plan to do this at least once a month now, so that helped a bit. The drive home was harder. The kids were tired and sad at having to leave their sister. Twin A insisted she was going to get car sick but a shake from Sonic made that better. She was smiling when we dropped her off at her residential school, so I'm guessing the day was good for her.
I've been involved with these girls for over five years. Cori was placed with me at 9. Her sisters were 7 at the time and were placed together in a therapeutic foster home due to their needs. We did monthly visits at first but, as time went on, rights were terminated, they were placed in various adoptive homes (none of which worked out), and they just lost touch. I'm generally in favor of placing sibs together but have to agree in this case, that I haven't ever met a parent that could successfully keep them all. They all have significant needs and really all need to be only children.
The kids are now 15 and 13. I worry about their futures. I don't think either of the twins will ever be able to live independently, due to their disabilities. Cori struggles with emotional issues from childhood and, truthfully, from damage done by multiple moves in foster care. There are no easy answers here. I've been involved in the case from the start, known all the players (case workers, therapists, foster parents, prospective adoptive parents, bio mom, bio grandmothers, etc.), and can't identify anyone in the system who really dropped the ball big time. For the most part, they did their jobs and seemed to care. For whatever reason, things just haven't worked out for these girls. It makes me sad. It also makes me all the more determined to make sure they continue to have these visits and have a relationship with each other. They need that. It's the least I can do.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Like I said, revolving door
They are gone again. Alli and Elvis left the house about 2:45 this morning. I heard someone moving around and was getting up to investigate. I looked out the door in time to see her drive away. Needless to say, I've been awake ever since. This morning, I called her and texted her but got no response. I waited another hour and finally, about 10:45, she texted back that she was asleep. She said she had taken Elvis to the ER because he was having some horrendous diarrhea and they said he was dehydrated. She didn't tell me where she was. This is so frustrating. I know she is 20 and legally an adult but she is also living under my roof and I'm helping support them financially. I think she owes me the courtesy of "We're staying at a friend's tonight," (even though I'm 99% sure that friend is her bio mom) instead of just disappearing and not answering her phone.
I have a sign hanging in my den - "Mothers of teenagers know why some animals eat their young." This evidently applies even more to mothers of 20 year olds.
I have a sign hanging in my den - "Mothers of teenagers know why some animals eat their young." This evidently applies even more to mothers of 20 year olds.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Revolving Door
Alli and Elvis are back. They weren't even gone 24 hours. I don't know how I feel. Relieved on some level. They are safe and Elvis is being cared for. On the other hand, it's only a matter of time before we have the same problems we've been having.
I don't quite get where her attitude is coming from. She's been here almost 5 years and, for the most part, has been a joy. Suddenly, she seems to have this sense of entitlement...thinks she's "owed" things, wants the best of everything, and seems to have no consideration for anyone else's feelings or needs. She hasn't always been this way. She used to be very appreciative of the things she's had.
In the last few months, though, she's reconnected with her bio mom (a woman who has literally committed crimes against this child) and they are "best friends" now. I have so much trouble accepting this. I'd have given my life to keep this girl from having to go through what she did. Now, she's cozied up to her abuser. Based on my experience from my fairly normal, middle-class upbringing, this makes no sense. This is compounded by the fact that for many years, Alli has wanted NO contact with this woman. I'm not sure what changed.
I'm sure my attitude towards her bio mom is affecting my relationship with Alli. I feel hurt and betrayed by their relationship. They share something I can never share with Alli - biology. In the meantime, I'm stuck being the mean parent - enforcing rules and nagging about daily chores. Bio mom gets to be the fun parent - shopping and manicures. It's almost like a divorce situation where each parents tries to be the kids' favorite. Only I didn't sign up for that. And I'm not falling for that. I'll continue to be the "mean" parent because that is what Alli needs. She's 20 years old and is a parent herself. It is time for her to grow up and start making decisions for herself. I'm going to have to accept that I'm not always going to agree with her decisions. I can offer guidance but the decisions are hers to make. She's going to make some horrible decisions. There is nothing I can do but be there to pick her up (again) and patch her up (again) and hope she doesn't end up so damaged that she can't be repaired.
I don't quite get where her attitude is coming from. She's been here almost 5 years and, for the most part, has been a joy. Suddenly, she seems to have this sense of entitlement...thinks she's "owed" things, wants the best of everything, and seems to have no consideration for anyone else's feelings or needs. She hasn't always been this way. She used to be very appreciative of the things she's had.
In the last few months, though, she's reconnected with her bio mom (a woman who has literally committed crimes against this child) and they are "best friends" now. I have so much trouble accepting this. I'd have given my life to keep this girl from having to go through what she did. Now, she's cozied up to her abuser. Based on my experience from my fairly normal, middle-class upbringing, this makes no sense. This is compounded by the fact that for many years, Alli has wanted NO contact with this woman. I'm not sure what changed.
I'm sure my attitude towards her bio mom is affecting my relationship with Alli. I feel hurt and betrayed by their relationship. They share something I can never share with Alli - biology. In the meantime, I'm stuck being the mean parent - enforcing rules and nagging about daily chores. Bio mom gets to be the fun parent - shopping and manicures. It's almost like a divorce situation where each parents tries to be the kids' favorite. Only I didn't sign up for that. And I'm not falling for that. I'll continue to be the "mean" parent because that is what Alli needs. She's 20 years old and is a parent herself. It is time for her to grow up and start making decisions for herself. I'm going to have to accept that I'm not always going to agree with her decisions. I can offer guidance but the decisions are hers to make. She's going to make some horrible decisions. There is nothing I can do but be there to pick her up (again) and patch her up (again) and hope she doesn't end up so damaged that she can't be repaired.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Changes, changes...
Well, we survived our trip to the beach. It wasn't always fun but we had a nice time overall. Perhaps a little too much family togetherness with 6 people crammed in the minivan. We've been back a couple of days and are gradually adjusting to life without a beach.
Things finally came to a head with Alli and she and Elvis moved out last night. I'm sad and relieved all at the same time. She turned 20 and suddenly knew everything. It's hard to combat that mindset. There is a lot of anger on both sides right now. I can only hope that as time goes on, we'll at least be on speaking terms again. Her bio sister is still here so things will be awkward.
Now, practical matters have to be addressed. Her cell phone is on my account (at least for the next 20 minutes when the customer service office opens). I'll have them turn it off on Friday, giving her a few days to get her own account. She knows the alarm code and password so those will have to be edited with the alarm company. Under normal circumstances I trust her completely. However, she is not thinking clearly right now.
I'll have to plan something extra fun with the other kids. This has become our ritual. When someone leaves, we plan a fun event/trip to begin building memories in our new family configuration. It's not always easy at the time but it is worth the effort down the road.
I'm too sad to write more now. I'll be back when I've had some time to think this all through.
Things finally came to a head with Alli and she and Elvis moved out last night. I'm sad and relieved all at the same time. She turned 20 and suddenly knew everything. It's hard to combat that mindset. There is a lot of anger on both sides right now. I can only hope that as time goes on, we'll at least be on speaking terms again. Her bio sister is still here so things will be awkward.
Now, practical matters have to be addressed. Her cell phone is on my account (at least for the next 20 minutes when the customer service office opens). I'll have them turn it off on Friday, giving her a few days to get her own account. She knows the alarm code and password so those will have to be edited with the alarm company. Under normal circumstances I trust her completely. However, she is not thinking clearly right now.
I'll have to plan something extra fun with the other kids. This has become our ritual. When someone leaves, we plan a fun event/trip to begin building memories in our new family configuration. It's not always easy at the time but it is worth the effort down the road.
I'm too sad to write more now. I'll be back when I've had some time to think this all through.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
To those who say they would NEVER leave a child in respite...
Let me assure you that I am that person, too. Until Deb joined us, I've never left a child in respite while we went on vacation. When I called her worker a few weeks back to tell her of my decision, she had me repeat it 3 times saying, "You never use respite. I needed to make sure I was hearing you right." I treat my foster kids like I treat all members of my family. This child has made me reconsider my decision. She is still a member of the family but she has different needs.
She is a full-time job. She's never still and never quiet. She thrives on routine and order. I'm that way in my real life but on vacation, I want to be the total opposite. If I want to sleep until 10:00 AM and then eat pizza for breakfast, I will. My other kids are totally able to go with the flow and enjoy breaking the "rules" on vacations. Deb not only doesn't appreciate the lack of structure, it actually makes her uncomfortable. She expresses this discomfort by increasing her anxiety which leads to lots of screaming, physical aggression, and lots of loud curse words. None of these are good things during any part of my life but when staying in base housing on a military base, they are even worse. My neighbors here are used to my kids and their....eccentricities. Military families transitioning between bases aren't so understanding.
I've taken this child to the beach TWICE this summer. Both times, she couldn't hold it together. She was miserable and made everyone else miserable in the process. (Misery evidently really does love company.) She'll be much happier in the respite home. They know her. She likes them. They have several kids with special needs and will adhere to the schedule that makes her feel so secure, even without me there. We'll lay around the vacation place and do what we want, when we want without fear of a six-hour rampage because we didn't leave for the beach at 10:15 AM on the dot.
We'll come home Sunday and get her from the respite family. She'll have lots of tales to tell us. We'll bring her a t-shirt and some school supplies (don't laugh, that's her obsession) and all will be well. I'll be rested and ready to resume being her mom. That is what I missed during my first decade of fostering. I've learned that sometimes, I really do need to do something for me. I don't do it often, but this is okay. I'll be a better mom for taking this time.
She is a full-time job. She's never still and never quiet. She thrives on routine and order. I'm that way in my real life but on vacation, I want to be the total opposite. If I want to sleep until 10:00 AM and then eat pizza for breakfast, I will. My other kids are totally able to go with the flow and enjoy breaking the "rules" on vacations. Deb not only doesn't appreciate the lack of structure, it actually makes her uncomfortable. She expresses this discomfort by increasing her anxiety which leads to lots of screaming, physical aggression, and lots of loud curse words. None of these are good things during any part of my life but when staying in base housing on a military base, they are even worse. My neighbors here are used to my kids and their....eccentricities. Military families transitioning between bases aren't so understanding.
I've taken this child to the beach TWICE this summer. Both times, she couldn't hold it together. She was miserable and made everyone else miserable in the process. (Misery evidently really does love company.) She'll be much happier in the respite home. They know her. She likes them. They have several kids with special needs and will adhere to the schedule that makes her feel so secure, even without me there. We'll lay around the vacation place and do what we want, when we want without fear of a six-hour rampage because we didn't leave for the beach at 10:15 AM on the dot.
We'll come home Sunday and get her from the respite family. She'll have lots of tales to tell us. We'll bring her a t-shirt and some school supplies (don't laugh, that's her obsession) and all will be well. I'll be rested and ready to resume being her mom. That is what I missed during my first decade of fostering. I've learned that sometimes, I really do need to do something for me. I don't do it often, but this is okay. I'll be a better mom for taking this time.
To Do List - Update Number 2
We are leaving for vacation in just over 14 hours. Here's where my life stands:
1. COMPLETE! I found respite for Deb! For the record, I just secured that respite about 20 minutes ago and I really wanted to start it tonight but it was way too short notice to even ask the respite mom. So, we'll drop her off on our way out of town in the morning.
2. NOT DONE! However, I can piece together friends, family, and neighbors to do the basics. We'll only be gone 3 nights.
3. COMPLETE! And I liked his answer! (That doesn't happen very often.) The changed the requirement and all trips over 50 miles each way qualify for reimbursement. And, I can back that up to July. Hot dog! He said a 50 mile round trip would get me about $23. I've made about 10 of those trips each month - July, August, and September! Hooray! I will have some extra cash!
4. NOT DONE but I can do this as we drive tomorrow so not a problem.
5. Basically COMPLETE. I still new a few odds and ends but we'll be in a Wal-Mart somewhere along the way. We can't travel and not visit Wal-Mart. That would be rude.
6. COMPLETE! (Confession - I did pack some dirty clothes but we will have a washer/dryer there.)
7. NOT DONE - Still playing phone tag but, again, I have 8 hours in the van tomorrow. Unless I'm in Wal-Mart, we should connect.
8. COMPLETE - many times over.
9. NOT DONE - I don't see it/smell it any more. I'm stupid enough to go seek it out.
10. NOT DONE - Plenty of time to do this next week.
So, I didn't get it all done, but I'm ready to travel. I had a few unexpected issues today (a hole in my last contact so I had to schedule an appointment for an exam) so I feel good about my progress. And, with my new contacts, I can see!!!!
1. COMPLETE! I found respite for Deb! For the record, I just secured that respite about 20 minutes ago and I really wanted to start it tonight but it was way too short notice to even ask the respite mom. So, we'll drop her off on our way out of town in the morning.
2. NOT DONE! However, I can piece together friends, family, and neighbors to do the basics. We'll only be gone 3 nights.
3. COMPLETE! And I liked his answer! (That doesn't happen very often.) The changed the requirement and all trips over 50 miles each way qualify for reimbursement. And, I can back that up to July. Hot dog! He said a 50 mile round trip would get me about $23. I've made about 10 of those trips each month - July, August, and September! Hooray! I will have some extra cash!
4. NOT DONE but I can do this as we drive tomorrow so not a problem.
5. Basically COMPLETE. I still new a few odds and ends but we'll be in a Wal-Mart somewhere along the way. We can't travel and not visit Wal-Mart. That would be rude.
6. COMPLETE! (Confession - I did pack some dirty clothes but we will have a washer/dryer there.)
7. NOT DONE - Still playing phone tag but, again, I have 8 hours in the van tomorrow. Unless I'm in Wal-Mart, we should connect.
8. COMPLETE - many times over.
9. NOT DONE - I don't see it/smell it any more. I'm stupid enough to go seek it out.
10. NOT DONE - Plenty of time to do this next week.
So, I didn't get it all done, but I'm ready to travel. I had a few unexpected issues today (a hole in my last contact so I had to schedule an appointment for an exam) so I feel good about my progress. And, with my new contacts, I can see!!!!
Proof
It's been almost a year since I adopted Beth. Because she was so old (16) when I adopted her, I get adoption assistance for her (a small amount of money each month and she continued on our state's version of Medicaid). Since she still has the stinky state insurance, I use the money to pay for her counseling - thus getting her a good therapist, not just someone stupid enough to get involved with the state insurance problem.
Anyway, I got a letter in the mail telling me it's time to renew the adoption assistance agreement. I swear they try to make this as difficult as possible on everyone involved. Do they get paid more for using big words? Here's the letter attached to the paperwork:
The Adoption Assistance Renewal Affidavits are full of legal mumbo-jumbo but I do think I can figure them out. I have to find a notary which ticks me off because I never know where to find one. You'd think that DCS who has people fill out hundreds of forms like this would have a notarty on staff but they don't.
My bigger gripe is the "documentation" they want. The exact statement, taken directly from the Adoption Assistance Renewal Affidavit Memorandum, is: "Families who receive a regular Adoption Assistance rate must attach proof that their child currently resides in the family home. That proof may come in the form of a grade card report or other verification of the child's location." First, I can't use the report card since we won't get them until after the date I have to turn these forms in. What in the world is "verification of the child's location?" Should I take a picture of her in her bed? Sitting on the front porch? How do you verify the location of a 17 year old girl? GPS tracking? At least two DCS employees are in my home every month. Can they not vouch for the fact that she's still here? One of the other kids suggested I cut off Beth's ear or finger and mail that in as proof. While I would enjoy seeing the face of the "DCS Adoption Assistance Designee" when she opened the bloody envelope and out fell a severed body part, I just don't think I'll go that far.
Grrrr! Just one more annoyance I have to deal with, thanks to "The System." But, Beth is worth it, so we'll find someway to verify her location and be thankful we'll just have to do this one more time.
Anyway, I got a letter in the mail telling me it's time to renew the adoption assistance agreement. I swear they try to make this as difficult as possible on everyone involved. Do they get paid more for using big words? Here's the letter attached to the paperwork:
Dear ME,
enclosed are the new Adoption Assistance Affidavit forms for the above
named child(ren) and also an Adoption Assistance Renewal Affidavit Memorandum
regarding the new Renewal procedures. The notarized Renewal Affidavits
must be returned to this office by October xx, 2007. You may keep one copy
of the notarixed Affidavit for your files.
NOTE: Even though the deadline for submitting the forms is
10/xx/2007, the Affidavits and documentation should be submitted as soon as
possbile in the case additional documentation is required.
The Adoption Assistance Renewal Affidavits are full of legal mumbo-jumbo but I do think I can figure them out. I have to find a notary which ticks me off because I never know where to find one. You'd think that DCS who has people fill out hundreds of forms like this would have a notarty on staff but they don't.
My bigger gripe is the "documentation" they want. The exact statement, taken directly from the Adoption Assistance Renewal Affidavit Memorandum, is: "Families who receive a regular Adoption Assistance rate must attach proof that their child currently resides in the family home. That proof may come in the form of a grade card report or other verification of the child's location." First, I can't use the report card since we won't get them until after the date I have to turn these forms in. What in the world is "verification of the child's location?" Should I take a picture of her in her bed? Sitting on the front porch? How do you verify the location of a 17 year old girl? GPS tracking? At least two DCS employees are in my home every month. Can they not vouch for the fact that she's still here? One of the other kids suggested I cut off Beth's ear or finger and mail that in as proof. While I would enjoy seeing the face of the "DCS Adoption Assistance Designee" when she opened the bloody envelope and out fell a severed body part, I just don't think I'll go that far.
Grrrr! Just one more annoyance I have to deal with, thanks to "The System." But, Beth is worth it, so we'll find someway to verify her location and be thankful we'll just have to do this one more time.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
10:15 PM Update
1. No luck. I'll be frantically calling every foster home in a 5 county area tomorrow hoping to find a sucker, um, I mean, a respite provider.
2. Same as above but I'm not worried about this one.
3. I called him this morning. He didn't return my call.
4. No chance to do this. Deb was with me all day.
5. Meals are planned but no shopping has been done.
6. Progress made. I'm not stressed about this.
7. Again, I called and left a message but no one called me back.
8. Done...twice. Needs to be done again but it will wait until tomorrow.
9. Just didn't have the stomach for this one today.
10. Just didn't have the heart for this one.
Off to bed early (for me). Tomorrow is going to be busy, busy, busy. I'm hoping to wake up and get to Wal-Mart early to get oil changed in the van and do a little vacation shopping while I wait. If I plan this right, I can go ALONE! (That never happens in my life.)
2. Same as above but I'm not worried about this one.
3. I called him this morning. He didn't return my call.
4. No chance to do this. Deb was with me all day.
5. Meals are planned but no shopping has been done.
6. Progress made. I'm not stressed about this.
7. Again, I called and left a message but no one called me back.
8. Done...twice. Needs to be done again but it will wait until tomorrow.
9. Just didn't have the stomach for this one today.
10. Just didn't have the heart for this one.
Off to bed early (for me). Tomorrow is going to be busy, busy, busy. I'm hoping to wake up and get to Wal-Mart early to get oil changed in the van and do a little vacation shopping while I wait. If I plan this right, I can go ALONE! (That never happens in my life.)
To Do List
My list of things I need to do just keeps getting longer and longer. I'm such a procrastinator.
1. Find respite for Deb. We are leaving in a couple of days. I fear rejection so I just haven't called many foster families. Rumor has it there are a couple of families in town that will keep any kid for the money. I'm hoping to luck into one of those.
2. Find a pet/house sitter. Again, we are leaving soon. A friend and I usually trade this service off but we will both be gone at the same time. I'm sure we can round up a semi-responsible teen who will do a half-way decent job. We're down to one elderly dog and two indoor/outdoor cats. I have to admit I wish I could just leave Deb with the pet-sitter, too. (Just kidding....sort of.)
3. Call my foster parent support worker and ask the regulations for milage reimbursement. The old rule was they would pay for any trip over 75 miles each way. I'm driving 1,000 to 1,200 miles a MONTH taking my two foster daughters to regular counseling appointments. Sadly, each trip is about 55 miles each way, thus not qualifying for payment. Something's got to give. Gas is really expensive and my aging van isn't getting any younger.
4. Return the many messages left by Deb's CASA (court-appointed special advocate) workers. I mean to call them back but it's hard to find the time. I really can't talk with her around and she's always underfoot and eavesdropping.
5. Plan meals and shop for the trip. We stay in an apartment and to keep costs down we cook our meals. Food is much cheaper here than near the beach.
6. Pack for the trip. Luckily, it's still really hot here so we are still wearing summer clothes. It's a lot harder to find out-of-season clothes. The only thing we haven't used in a while is bathing suits and they have already been located and washed! Now where in the world are those beach towels????
7. Call pediatrician about Cori's bloodwork results and schedule an ultrasound. Sounds simple enough but when I'm woking, I just can't connect with that office. The only time I can get to a phone at work is while they are at lunch. We've exchanged messages for over two weeks. Now that I am on fall break, I've got to connect with them...or it will have to wait until Christmas vacation.
8. Wash dishes. Without a dishwasher, this is always on my list. It never gets done.
9. Remove the dead squirrel from the front yard. I'm tempted to call it a science project but it's really not. One of the cats proudly presented us with it a few days ago. No one wants to touch it. We've seen the varying degrees of decomposition now. It's just plain nasty - but so nasty that no one will dispose of it. To get in or out of the house, we cover our noses, look straight ahead, and RUN!
10. Hang the new curtains in my bedroom. The ones I had have been there 7 years of so and have gotten really faded. I finally saved my money and waited for a sale. They are here now but aren't doing much good still sitting in the package. I'm putting it off because they will need to be ironed and then I'll have to climb around but the end result will be worth it.
1. Find respite for Deb. We are leaving in a couple of days. I fear rejection so I just haven't called many foster families. Rumor has it there are a couple of families in town that will keep any kid for the money. I'm hoping to luck into one of those.
2. Find a pet/house sitter. Again, we are leaving soon. A friend and I usually trade this service off but we will both be gone at the same time. I'm sure we can round up a semi-responsible teen who will do a half-way decent job. We're down to one elderly dog and two indoor/outdoor cats. I have to admit I wish I could just leave Deb with the pet-sitter, too. (Just kidding....sort of.)
3. Call my foster parent support worker and ask the regulations for milage reimbursement. The old rule was they would pay for any trip over 75 miles each way. I'm driving 1,000 to 1,200 miles a MONTH taking my two foster daughters to regular counseling appointments. Sadly, each trip is about 55 miles each way, thus not qualifying for payment. Something's got to give. Gas is really expensive and my aging van isn't getting any younger.
4. Return the many messages left by Deb's CASA (court-appointed special advocate) workers. I mean to call them back but it's hard to find the time. I really can't talk with her around and she's always underfoot and eavesdropping.
5. Plan meals and shop for the trip. We stay in an apartment and to keep costs down we cook our meals. Food is much cheaper here than near the beach.
6. Pack for the trip. Luckily, it's still really hot here so we are still wearing summer clothes. It's a lot harder to find out-of-season clothes. The only thing we haven't used in a while is bathing suits and they have already been located and washed! Now where in the world are those beach towels????
7. Call pediatrician about Cori's bloodwork results and schedule an ultrasound. Sounds simple enough but when I'm woking, I just can't connect with that office. The only time I can get to a phone at work is while they are at lunch. We've exchanged messages for over two weeks. Now that I am on fall break, I've got to connect with them...or it will have to wait until Christmas vacation.
8. Wash dishes. Without a dishwasher, this is always on my list. It never gets done.
9. Remove the dead squirrel from the front yard. I'm tempted to call it a science project but it's really not. One of the cats proudly presented us with it a few days ago. No one wants to touch it. We've seen the varying degrees of decomposition now. It's just plain nasty - but so nasty that no one will dispose of it. To get in or out of the house, we cover our noses, look straight ahead, and RUN!
10. Hang the new curtains in my bedroom. The ones I had have been there 7 years of so and have gotten really faded. I finally saved my money and waited for a sale. They are here now but aren't doing much good still sitting in the package. I'm putting it off because they will need to be ironed and then I'll have to climb around but the end result will be worth it.
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